Blogger Template by Blogcrowds.

The next version of Ubuntu is coming soon

中文版

各個國家18件麥樂雞分給4個小朋友的方法
美國——那個小朋友出最多錢就得到全部18件麥樂雞
英國——美國怎樣做我們怎樣做
中國——每位小朋友一件麥樂雞,十四件上繳領導
德國——經過精密的測量儀器計算,每位小朋友可以分得435.23克麥樂雞
日本——我先問問領導怎麼處理
法國——有沒有雞肝
蒙古——四個出去打,打贏那個得到全部十八件麥樂雞
南韓——讓男人先吃
北韓——什麼是麥樂雞

香港
分配員:那個小朋友出最多錢就得到全部18件麥樂雞
小朋友:打倒資本主義,不能因為那個小朋友的父母有錢就決定孩子獲得多少
分配員:每位小朋友四件,兩件我吃吧
小朋友:這是貪污,我叫媽咪去投訴你

分配員:那我去找人測量每人獲得的重量吧
小朋友:香港人價值就是效率,速度,即食,這樣太沒效率
分配員:我先問問領導怎麼處理吧
小朋友:你應該自己作主,你不是僕人,你是Boss,你要學會怎樣當Master

分配員:你們四個自己出去打吧,贏了拿全部
小朋友:我們是和平理性非暴力,不容許用暴力解決問題
分配員:女生也吃不了這麼多,讓男人先吃吧
小朋友:性別歧視,就算我吃不了這麼多,也不能男生優先分配,我媽咪是婦團代表,我叫媽咪投訴你

分配員:你們一人四件,餘下兩件抽籤決定那個小朋友多吃兩件吧
小朋友:黑箱作業,利益輸送
分配員:不要吃麥樂雞吧,去吃雞肝吧
小朋友:內臟膽固醇高,我們香港人的命很寶貴的

分配員:那你們說怎麼分配最公平呀
小朋友:把十八件麥樂雞都倒掉吧,這樣最公平,誰也沒有得益
分配員:香港果然是中西方文化「融合」的地方,不管你信不信,反正我是信了

英文版
How do you give 18 Chicken McNuggets to 4 children?

U.S.: The highest bidder gets all of them
Britain: What did American do?
China: You can each have one, the rest goes to our dearest leader
Germany: According to the results of the most accurate measurements and calculations, we’ve come to the conclusion that each child gets to have exactly 435.23 grams of Chicken McNuggets, no more, no less.
Japan: I’ll ask my superiors and he’ll ask his
France: May I haz le Foie Gras?
Mongolia: Fight.
South Korea: Let the men have it!
North Korea: wtf is McNuggets?

Hong Kong:
Allocator: The highest bidder gets them all
Child: Screw capitalism! Being rich doesn’t mean he gets to have everything!
Allocator: Alright…how about you each have four and I’ll take the rest
Child: CORRUPTION!!! I’ll call the ICAC (through my mum!)
Allocator: Fine I’ll get someone to weigh them and see how much you can get.
Child: Where is the efficiency that we so pride ourselves on? We can barely wait for 5 seconds! I’ll report you to your manager if you don’t speed up.
Allocator: Well then let me ask my superiors and see what they think on this issue.
Child: You know what? You should be able to handle these things yourself, you should be your own master rather than being a slave to your superiors.
Allocator: Christ…why don’t you just fight over it and sort it out yourselves?
Child: We are civilized people and we do not resolve to violence, that’s what cavemen do and we are no cavemen.
Allocator: Right, I guess the girls won’t be as hungry, why don’t the boys get more?
Girl: SEXIST!! I don’t care if I’m on a diet and I can barely eat half a nugget, the boys shouldn’t get any more than we do! We demand fair treatment among the sexes or I will order my mother to sue you!
Allocator: Okay okay I’m sorry, why don’t you each have four and then we’ll draw slots to see who gets the other two, that sounds fair.
Child: That’s nowhere near fair! Liars! Backroom dealers!
Allocator: Goddammit, forget the nuggets, let’s go and have Foie Gras.
Child: Are you trying to murder us? You know how unhealthy those things are with all that cholesterol and shit.
Allocator: FUCK THIS SHIT! So what do YOU say?
Child: I say we throw all those nuggets away. So no one gets anything at all. That way we’re all happy.
Allocator: So that’s what they mean when they say “East meets West”. Believe it or not? I negative positive believe.

原文

0 Comments:

Post a Comment



較舊的文章 首頁